👩⚕️ An immersive internship
Part 2: New life project
⚠️ This is a work of fiction
⚠️ Reproduction and distribution prohibited
Mom and I just got back from shopping and started preparing dinner when she announces something unexpected:
"I've decided to do something else for work."
"Oh really, you don't want to be a nurse anymore? I ask, surprised."
"Yes, it's a job I love, but right now I can't find a position that I like. And I also want to try something else."
"Like what for example? What do you want to do? Do you already know?"
"Yes, I've thought about it a bit, and that's why I'm telling you, I need your agreement."
"You're scaring me, I say somewhat worried."
"No, mom answers amusingly, you don't have to be afraid."
Mom then explains to me that she wants to welcome children into our home, which is called being a foster family. She tells me that a friend of hers did that and told her how rewarding it was, and it had always stayed in the back of her mind.
"So that's why I need your agreement, she says, taking my hands in hers. It would mean we would have someone else in the house, that they would share our life."
"But how long would they stay?"
"I don't have too many details, but it could be from a few days to several months I think."
"But why do these children go to families that are not their own?"
"These children may have been abused, beaten, or perhaps their family is going through a difficult period where it is best to distance those who are most vulnerable."
"And how old are these children?"
"That's for us to decide. We can say that we accept babies or not, and also up to a certain age, like 13 or 15 years for example."
"It could be nice to have a boy my age, I say thoughtfully."
"I suspected that aspect might appeal to you, mom replies. It could be a friend for you, yes. I remember the time when you asked your dad and me for a brother."
We continue our conversation for a while. I ask a bunch of questions and mom tries to answer them and reassure me that it won't change anything between us. She says that if things went wrong with a child, it would always be possible to stop having them with us at home.
It's really reassured and even happy that I finally answer her that I'm willing to be a foster family. Happy because it's true that I've always regretted not having a brother.
"Perfect, says mom. I will go and inquire in more detail then. I know there is an association not far away that deals with this."
Two or three weeks go by during which we live our lives. I don't go out much even though mom pushes me a bit. I haven't really had the opportunity to meet people and I miss having friends. I almost can't wait for these summer vacations to end.
Tonight, mom went to an information meeting.
"So? I ask her as she walks into the apartment."
"It's going to be more complicated than I imagined, she replies, with a slightly closed face."
"Why is that?"
She then tells me that being a foster family interests many people and there are more applications than children to welcome. It is necessary to prepare a whole file, explaining what we can offer to a child. We need to take photos, prove that we can provide a real environment for children, get testimonials, have suitable housing. Our file then goes to a committee and someone comes to check everything we have written.
The more mom tells me, the more I think it could actually take time. In fact, mom confirms this to me by saying that it could take several months.
"It's okay mom, I say with a smile, we need to do this file! We'll do it together, and it will take as long as it needs."
"You're kind, she replies with a smile. I agree with you, we'll do it. And if I have to find a little job while waiting, I will."
Mom goes on to explain to me in more detail how it works. She explains that it's a points system, and the more points we have, the more our file is highlighted compared to others.
"Does being a nurse give you points? I ask."
"Absolutely yes. The fact that we have an extra room also, as well as a garden."
"Are there things that lose points?"
"Yes... the fact that I'm alone raising you."
"Alright, I say seriously, tonight we find you a man on a dating app, tomorrow you eat with him at a restaurant, and the day after tomorrow you marry him."
Mom then bursts into laughter and it leads to a good laugh that lasts a while. With tears of laughter, we continue to list our strengths and weaknesses.
"And me? I ask intrigued. What am I?"
"A strength, she tells me. Having an environment with other children is an asset."
"Perfect. And concretely, what can we do to gain points?"
"We can and must improve the apartment: furnish the room with a bed, decorations, toys. We also need to finish unpacking your boxes that are still lying around, arrange the garden to make it more welcoming. Our photos must show an environment where everything is clean and well equipped."
"Okay, I say, that might not take too long. You mentioned testimonials, that can be quick too. You can ask your friends to write you letters, right?"
"Exactly, mom responds with a smile, certainly happy about my involvement. Are there any others?"
I then see mom close up a bit and take on a sadder expression.
"Tell me, I'm old enough, you can talk to me."
"Well... there is indeed something I thought of that would be very beneficial to our file..."
"I'm listening, I say, feeling like this might not please me."
"It does concern you."
Mom then explains to me that among the criteria that earn the most points, there is having a child with a disability.
"And how does this concern me? I ask thoughtfully."
"This association specializes in welcoming children with disabilities, particularly urinary incontinence."
"What does that word mean?"
"It means that these children can't hold their pee, so it flows out on its own without being able to be held by the bladder."
"Do they have to wear diapers at night?"
"Yes, mom replies, but also during the day."
"It doesn't bother me, you know, I say. Matthias, my friend who lived near our old apartment, wet the bed and wore diapers."
Mom just smiles at me without answering. I feel like she's not telling me everything. So I think back to what she told me just before, and especially about the fact that having a child with a disability brings in points. And then it hits me... the child she's talking about, it's not the one we're welcoming but... it's me!
"You want me to... wear diapers? I finally say, stuttering, feeling bad for not understanding sooner what mom was getting at."
"It's an idea I had, yes, she tells me, once again taking my hands in hers and looking me in the eyes. Of course, I don't want to make you do this, but it would help our file."
"But... when would I have to wear them?"
"Actually, all the time... at least from the moment we submit our file because surprise verification visits can happen."
"So I would have to wear diapers at night and also during the day? And are you sure this earns a lot of points?"
"I'm sure, yes. I asked."
Many thoughts then go through my head. I know wearing diapers isn't painful, but there's the shame, the look of others if they saw or found out. And then there's mom and her desire to change careers. It's a real opportunity for her and I can't see myself not doing everything to help her when she does everything for me, for my happiness and fulfillment. She already told me that she would do everything to help me become a doctor, even if the studies were very expensive.
"Okay mom, I say, I'll do it. I'll see it as an internship for my future career as a surgeon. And by the way, I'll become a surgeon specialized in repairing incontinence!"
"A very immersive internship then, mom responds, taking me in her arms and hugging me very tight. Thank you, Loïc, for doing this for me."
When we release our embrace, I think about what I just told mom, about what I just accepted. I imagine the consequences it may bring, and I hope I won't regret it.
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